


The Misadventures of Baby Gay April at Church Camp

by GleefullyWicked, Little_Ditty



Series: The Wonderous and Epic Life of Stepril [1]
Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters (TV)
Genre: 13-year-old April being an awkward gay duckling, 2017 intensifies, F/F, Pre-Canon, but we love her anyway, who is also a little creeper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27483739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleefullyWicked/pseuds/GleefullyWicked, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Ditty/pseuds/Little_Ditty
Summary: Ever wonder the story behind April falling out of her canoe at camp?(A companion piece to "can we always be this close (forever and ever)?")
Relationships: April Stevens/OC (one-sided)
Series: The Wonderous and Epic Life of Stepril [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008369
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	The Misadventures of Baby Gay April at Church Camp

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this exists in the same universe as our Stepril engagement fic "can we always be this close (forever and ever)" and should answer y'all's burning questions regarding who Jamie is. If you're just coming into this, you can absolutely proceed, but if you enjoy, I highly recommend diving into the big fic after.

In the summer of 2017, April Stevens had not exactly come into her own yet. In fact, if she was being blunt about it, she would say that puberty hit her harder than a Mack truck doing 70 on the highway. So, as much as she was excited for a month away at a Bible Camp on a lake near North Carolina, she also couldn’t help but worry that it would simply be a month-long opportunity for her to somehow humiliate herself.

Though, on the bright side, it would be a whole guaranteed month away from the insufferable Wesley twins—namely, Sterling.

“What’s the matter, Padawan? Ain’t ya excited?” her dad asked from the driver’s seat of the car just after they passed a sign saying they were five miles from the camp.

April forced a smile and nodded. “Just nervous is all…” she said quietly.

“Well, you don’t have a reason to be nervous. You’re gonna see all your old friends again and you’re gonna have so much fun!” her mom enthused from beside him, looking back at April. “Everything will be just fine, sweetheart. Now, do you have your skin stuff?”

April sighed. Her skin suddenly deciding it hated her was just one of the many white elephant gifts puberty had brought her. “Yes, I have my skin stuff.”

“And you have your extra pair of glasses? ‘Cause you already broke a pair and we can’t have you crawlin’ around blind like Velma from Scooby-Doo.” Her dad cackled as her mom glowered at him.

“John! You know April’s sensitive about her glasses!” she hissed at him, and she was not wrong; April was indeed sensitive to the fact that apparently acne and _braces_ weren’t enough. Nope. Puberty had to make people notice for the first time that she wasn’t just chronically uncoordinated. When she got them, she’d kind of thought that they made her look a little like Kara Danvers; but with her braces, they just made her look like a Grade-A dork.

It was hard to believe that she’d almost won Most Popular 5th Grade Girl barely two years ago.

“I have my spare pair,” April answered her dad’s question quietly.

“Good girl,” he said just as he pulled up to the parent drop off spot. The three of them got out of the car, John going around to get April’s bags out of the trunk while she and her mother approached a tall girl with a sidecut, aviators, and a backward snapback signing kids in on a clipboard. That and her wearing a camp shirt with ‘counselor’ on the back like a sports jersey were the only things about her that would give April any indication that she worked there. She definitely didn’t have the sort of clean-cut youth group vibe the rest of the counselors did.

“Stevens, A,” April said dutifully, feeling grown-up enough at 13 to not need her mom to sign in for her.

“Are you April?” the counselor asked, looking over her clipboard at April and giving her a smile that made her feel embarrassingly weak in the knees.

“I am,” April said, nodding as she felt herself blush. She hoped it could be excused by the July heat.

“Great!” the girl said, marking off April’s name on the clipboard before putting it under one arm and her pen behind her ear, reminding April a little bit of Kenickie from Grease. “Well April, it looks like the two of us are gonna be getting pretty familiar with each other, because you’re actually in my cabin.” She holds out her hand. “I’m Jamie. Welcome to team Myrrh. Our cabin is the closest to the lake, so I hope you like to swim.”

April just stared at Jamie’s hand for a moment, noting the way her nails were cut short and painted different colors to resemble a rainbow, while she wore a silver ring on her thumb. Realizing that she probably seemed like a freak, April snapped out of it and shook Jamie’s hand. “Nice to meet you,” April said, offering a smile of her own.

“Cool braces,” Jamie said, probably just trying to be friendly, but April couldn’t help but feel her heart leap.

“Thanks, they’re unicorn colors,” April replied awkwardly, feeling stupid the moment she said it, but that was thankfully when her mother chose to intervene.

“Jamie, I’m Mary Stevens, April’s mom. If you’re going to be April’s cabin supervisor, then I think I can entrust you with her list,” she said, handing Jamie a piece of paper, and April was suddenly not so happy to have her step in. “Now, she’s got braces, so there’s a list of things she can’t eat or drink with them. She’s not allowed caffeine after 5 or she’ll be up all night, and she’s allergic to pollock,” Mary explains as Jamie scans over the list.

“I’ll do my best to keep her in line, Mrs. Stevens,” Jamie said dutifully, but looked at April over her sunglasses and winked. “But we are really aiming for self-reliance here. No better time to teach the kids to be productive, God-fearing members of society than at a camp dedicated to worship, right?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” April’s dad piped up from behind them, bringing over April’s large rolling suitcase, duffle bag full of toiletries and other essentials, and her backpack, and setting them down next to April. “If we were just paying y’all to be babysitters, hopefully it wouldn’t cost so much.” John laughed, but his joke didn’t seem to land with anyone but himself.

Jamie chuckled politely, clearly only for show. “Well, I think if that’s everything, then I can help April take her stuff to the cabin if you guys are ready?”

April nodded, then turned to her parents to receive her crushing goodbye hugs. “I’ll see you guys soon, okay?” she said, realizing that she suddenly felt much better about how this summer was going to go than she had in the car.

“Okay, Sweetheart. We love you.” Mary said, clearly trying to hold back tears while John patted April on the shoulder.

“The Force will be with you. Always,” he whispered, and April nodded solemnly.

“I’m one with the Force. The Force is with me,” she replied with her sense of renewed confidence, and with that, her parents returned to the car and April watched them drive off.

“Well, let’s go get you settled,” Jamie spoke up, grabbing April’s duffle bag and putting it over her shoulder while April tried (and clearly failed) not to notice the way the muscles in her arms rippled as she did so.

April grabbed her backpack and put it on before taking her suitcase and rolling it down the paved path to the cabins. “So, is this your first year here?” she asked, mostly to make small talk, but she was also genuinely curious. She’d been coming to camp for the past three summers and she’d _certainly_ never seen Jamie or anyone like her around before.

“Yeah, it is as a counselor but I came here as a camper when I was your age,” Jamie replied, briefly looking over her shoulder at April to make sure she was keeping up before continuing on and adding, “I’m 19. You?”

“13, but I’ll be 14 in November,” April said, needing to make the distinction of being a late 13, but she wasn't really sure why. A real adult like Jamie definitely thought of her as a child either way, and that was definitely confirmed as they reached the Myrrh cabin and Jamie led April to a yet-to-be-claimed bed that she threw the duffle bag on.

“You and the other kids sleep in here. My room’s in there,” Jamie pointed to a door in the back of the room. “If you ever need something—pads, tampons, religious guidance, emergency nighttime caffeine…” she smiled as April rolled her eyes at her mom’s stupid rule. “—I’m your girl.”

“Thanks, Jamie,” April said, her breath hitching as Jamie playfully tousled her hair.

“Anytime, Kid. We’re gonna have fun this summer, okay?” she said, walking backwards towards the exit of the cabin.

April nodded. “Okay,” she said, and she didn’t doubt she would have fun. In fact, she _knew_ she would. But a feeling in the pit of her stomach was telling her that being around Jamie so much, with the way she was already making April feel, would be like playing with fire.

She was right.

* * *

A few days after camp had begun, April was finally settling into things. Her bunkmates were nice, if not a little...bubbly for her taste, and all the activities were great, especially with her Team Leader being as fun-loving and charismatic as any counselor April had ever encountered at camp. But still, she couldn’t help but feel a certain level of guilt every time Jamie would smile and make April’s heart skip a beat. 

She’d known since she was 8 that her feelings for girls weren’t like what they were supposed to be. Her feelings for girls were like how they were supposed to be for boys, but boys had never interested April in the slightest. When she was young, her mother said this was normal, and April believed her, but by 13, she had to think it was just never going to happen for her.

This had been a hard thing to reconcile with herself, because on one hand, April liked the feeling she got in her heart when looking at Jamie, or any of the other girls she’d found herself feeling these things for. But on the other hand, her parents and her church and the Bible itself all said that the kind of feelings she was feeling were an unnatural temptation, and if that’s the case, then, of course, they would feel good.

It was really all so confusing for April, especially on this particular day—Team Myrrh’s designated swim time in the pool.

She tried not to stare too long when Jamie emerged from her room that morning wearing only her bathing suit and a pair of cutoff shorts, a towel draped over her shoulders to lead them to the pool. “Alright ladies, I’m sure most of you know the drill. You gotta pass a swim test to prove you can go in the deep end, otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the shallow end of the rec pool and not allowed to go in the lake until you do,” Jamie said like a drill sergeant with all the members of Team Myrrh lined up along the side of the lap pool. On the other side of the pool, one of the male counselors was doing the same with a group of boys. Team Frankincense.

“What if we’ve passed it three times before?” Some obnoxious girl with a nasal voice named Tiffany asked as April tried not to look too annoyed with Jamie standing almost directly in front of her.

“Everyone has to pass it every year—it’s an insurance issue. We can’t have any of you drowning,” Jamie said plainly and tossed her towel to the side before beginning to unbutton her shorts.

April felt her cheeks go beet red. 

“Now, I’m gonna be up there,” Jamie said, pointing to the lifeguard chair on her side of the pool while the Frankincense leader climbed up into his own on his side. “When I blow this whistle, I’m gonna need you girls to jump in and swim three laps—that’s to the end of the pool and back three times—and if you can do that without touching the bottom, then you pass. If you touch the bottom, or I have to jump in and save you, then it’s a fail and you’ll have to try again the next time we have the pool. Sound simple enough?” 

All of the girls nodded and made sounds of acknowledgment while April focused on the task at hand. Three laps were nothing for her, so why not show off just _how_ good of a swimmer she was? Especially with the boys from Frankincense seemingly doing theirs at the same time. Who wouldn’t love to have a bit of a Katie Ledecky moment and make boys cry because a girl can swim circles around them? April made it a point to move furthest down the line to be as close to the boys’ lanes as possible, setting down her towel with her glasses on top of it.

“Now, get in there and Myrrh-der those boys,” Jamie said playfully and climbed up to the lifeguard chair. “Ready?” she called down to the girls, who got into starting positions and she blew her whistle.

Right from the whistle, April dove right in and swam for all she was worth. Clearly, none of the other campers had decided to treat their swimming test like an Olympic Trial, which only served to put April further in front.

For all of her determination to beat the other campers, April wasn’t quite sure of her ability to flip turn. But even without the flip turn April had a significant lead by the start of the second lap. Neither annoying Tiffany nor the Michael Phelps wannabe in the next lane had any chance of catching her. 

Her early speed petered out but April maintained her lead by sheer force of will. And a brave use of a flip at the beginning of the second lap. That small success gave her the confidence to try it again.

Maybe she was too confident, maybe she couldn’t see well enough in the chlorinated water without her glasses, but April’s second flip turn didn’t end the same way the first had. 

With a thunk, April’s forehead had clipped the pool wall. It rocked her enough that she let out her breath in a whoosh of bubbles, and suddenly everything went black.

When she came to, the first thing April noticed was the light streaming through her eyelids. The second thing she noticed was there was definitely someone blowing air into her mouth. Which is a good thing because she was feeling a touch waterlogged. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting the slightly blurry but still beautiful brown eyes of her rescuer just as she felt the urge to cough up a good amount of water--though Jamie had the good sense to move her mouth away from April’s before that could happen.

“Oh, thank God you’re alive. I would have definitely been fired,” Jamie said in order to lighten the mood as April coughed to the point of gagging before looking around at all of her bunkmates and the boys from Frankincense who’d crowded around. Great. “Alright, show’s over. Everyone go back to your business,” Jamie said, shooing them off and reaching down to put one arm under April’s knees and the other just under April’s arms, taking a deep inhale as she picked April up bridal style from the concrete. “Jason, will you please supervise my girls while I take her to medical?” she asked Frankincense’s leader, who agreed, and then Jamie began their trek across the camp to the medical office--a design choice April had to question, even while still loopy from oxygen deprivation and the possible concussion she was suffering from.

Wouldn’t you want the medical facilities as close as possible to the place where accidents are statistically most likely to occur?

But April was not about to think too hard on that while she was being carried like a fairytale damsel by a far more attractive knight in shining armor than any in the Disney movies she grew up watching. Though she supposed it was actually Ariel who saved Prince Eric from drowning. Not that that mattered because Jamie was _carrying her_. “You’re really strong,” April mumbled, smiling just a little.

She felt Jamie chuckle. “Uh, thanks. I lift,” she said and gave April a small wink.

“Did I fail my swim test?” April asked as the thought occurred to her. She really didn’t want to be stuck in the shallow end like a little kid.

“Ordinarily, yeah, you totally bombed it. But if you promise not to try any of those Ryan Lochte moves again, I might be able to let it slide since I _know_ you can swim,” Jamie said, grunting a bit as she shifted April’s position in her arms slightly, having April wrap her arms around her neck for extra support.

“Ryan Lochte is a punk bitch,” April said, far more appalled at being compared to him than happy about not having to take the test again.

Jamie full-on laughed at that. “Okay, I know I’m supposed to tell you not to swear, but I can’t disagree with you.” She walked them up the steps to the medical office.

April sighed, knowing this feeling well. She felt it for Adele Meisner, and a few other girls since, but none to this extent. Jamie, her gorgeous, confident rescuer had thoroughly stolen her heart.

* * *

For the next week, April found herself looking for any possible excuse to spend as much time with Jamie as possible, which was easier than she thought thanks to them being assigned to the same cabin. Though April’s favorite time was always the campfires, under the cover of the night with only the fire’s light to potentially reveal the way April found herself constantly looking at Jamie.

Of course, she didn’t know anything for certain, but all signs pointed to Jamie being...like her, and this was the first time April had gotten the opportunity to really spend an extended period of time with anyone like that. She’d spent so much time thinking that this part of herself was something to be hidden, and yet here was Jamie, so...comfortable in herself, and so attractive in the process.

As the fire began to die out, Jamie looked around at the sleepy girls, the activities of the day outweighing even the sugar rush of multiple smores as the exhaustion began to take them all over, except for one. April couldn’t even think of sleeping with her mind going a mile a minute. Maybe it was due to a secret 7:00 PM Coke. Maybe it was the somewhat exhilarating thought that maybe she’s not so alone in this world. Either way, when Jamie poured some water on the remaining embers and ushered Myrrh off to their cabin, April had no intention to sleep.

“We’re gonna be on the lake all day tomorrow, so I need you guys to try to get some sleep. Don’t think I can’t hear the giggling from my room,” Jamie said as she turned out the lights and retired to her room, shutting the door.

April sat awake in her bed, contemplating the merits of getting out her kindle and tearing through the last few chapters of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, but she couldn’t bring herself to commit to that kind of emotional turmoil when her thoughts were elsewhere. So instead she just stared up at the ceiling, contemplating how bad life could really be if she was to one day be the brave person Jamie is and not have to worry all the time about how she looks at other girls.

And then April started to feel herself drift off to sleep, a fantasy of Jamie as the Bee Charmer to her Ruth filling her head, hopefully leading to a nice dream. She was almost out when she heard Jamie’s bedroom door creak open. Pretending to be asleep, she rolled over in her bed, cracking her eyes open to see Jamie fully dressed, leaving the cabin.

April frowned. It was pretty much the number one rule for Team Leaders to never leave their girls unattended, especially at night. When the door shut behind Jamie, she sat up in bed, contemplating for a moment what she should do. Surely, if April were to get caught out of bed, at this time of night, she’d be in more trouble than Jamie would be for leaving 8 sleeping girls alone for however long she intended on staying out. But April didn’t want to follow her for the sake of getting her in trouble, she wanted to follow Jamie because she needed to know what girls like that get up to at this time of night.

Her mind made up, April got out of bed, trying to move as lightly on her feet as she could with the creaky floors as she put on her glasses and slipped on her tennis shoes before hurrying after Jamie. She hoped she hadn’t waited too long, but her fears of having lost Jamie are alleviated when she spots her standing outside of the cabin directly across from theirs--the Lamb cabin.

April crouched low so as not to be seen as she watched someone emerge from Lamb Cabin--their own Team Leader, who April thought was named Isabelle. All blonde hair and big boobs, she was exactly the kind of counselor the boys at camp would lust after. Well, the boys and apparently Jamie, who pulled Isabelle in close, whispering something in her ear before kissing her as April couldn’t suppress a small sound of outrage. 

Of course, the girl she was openly crushing hard on for the first time was _actually_ gay but was actually gay for a girl who looked like _that._ April kept watching as they continued to make out for a seemingly endless amount of time before they started walking hand in hand in the direction of the lake.

Looking in both directions in case someone were to spot her, April continued on down the steps of her cabin, following behind Jamie and Isabelle from a safe distance, always close to the side of the path in case she ever needed to dive out of sight. But, much to her chagrin, Jamie and Isabelle seemed far more preoccupied with each other.

“Izzy, has anyone ever mentioned the way your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?” Jamie asked, exaggeratingly romantic and April felt like gagging.

Isabelle scoffed. “Jamie, has anyone ever told you that you’re full of it?” she replied sweetly. “And don’t call me Izzy.”

“Why must you wound me in this way?” Jamie asked, hand over her heart.

“You‘re such an idiot,” Isabelle said, giggling.

They continued on to the beach near the boat dock. It was one of the few sandy areas, the rest being mostly rocky. April stayed behind in the tree cover, watching as the two of them sat down in the sand and Jamie put her arm around Isabelle.

It was the kind of picture-perfect moment April realized she so desperately wanted. She wanted to sit on a beach with a girl and kiss in the moonlight. The mixture of jealousy and curiosity coursing through her goaded April into moving just a little closer.

Her foot landed dead center of a fallen twig, loudly snapping it in half and forcing her to dart out of sight as Jamie and Isabelle both looked back to find the source of the sound.

“Shit!” April whispered to herself, her heart pounding as Jamie got up from where she was sitting and took a few steps in her direction.

“It was probably nothing,” Isabelle whined, motioning for Jamie to come back to her, which, after a moment of looking around some more, she did.

“You know I gotta protect you, right?” she asked, getting on her knees in front of where Isabelle was sitting.

“Is that right?” Isabelle asked, leaning back on her elbows and giggling as Jamie got on top of her.

“Mmhmm,” Jamie said, nodding enthusiastically and leaning down to kiss her again.

Isabelle giggled like an annoying schoolgirl and April turned away, knowing she should definitely _not_ be watching this. It was stupid to even follow Jamie here.

April headed back to her cabin, mumbling to herself about sand in very uncomfortable places and thinking she had been so naive to think Jamie wouldn’t have other cooler, more mature girls falling all over themselves for her. When she got back to her cabin, she kicked off her shoes, removed her glasses, and got back into bed, desperately wishing she’d be fast asleep by the time Jamie got back.

* * *

Maybe it was because April was a glutton for punishment, but she spent the next few days paying extra attention to the actions and whereabouts of Busty Isabelle. Lamb and Myrrh’s activities tended to sync up with each other, and April couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what brought Jamie and Isabelle together. Or maybe it wasn’t a coincidence at all that they always seemed to be doing things together.

But this was a free day for everyone at the camp, without coordinated activities, which only meant that April had all the time in the world to do a little recon on who she decided was her new enemy.

“So what do you guys know about that girl Isabelle?” she asked some of her bunkmates over breakfast, earning a few looks of confusion.

“You mean the counselor Isabelle?” Tiffany asked, to which April nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, what’s her deal?” She tried to be nonchalant about it, but she knew she was coming off as a total weirdo.

“I mean, she seems pretty nice, I guess? One of my friends from last year is in Lamb and Isabelle says she goes to Emory, which is pretty cool. I wanna go there,” a girl named Hannah--who April had taken to calling Hannah M. in her head, mostly out of habit since she was the only Hannah at camp--piped up.

“I hear she’s going out with Jason,” Another girl whose name always seemed to escape April adds. “But _God,_ I hope not,” she said, sighing as she looked across the mess hall at where the counselors congregated, spotting Jason on one side of Isabelle with Jamie on the other.

April bit her own lip hard in an attempt to not say any snide comments about Isabelle probably hooking up with _two_ people, at _church camp_ of all places _._ “I don’t know, doesn’t she give you guys a bad vibe? She gives me a bad vibe.”

“Why does it matter?” Tiffany asked.

“It doesn’t,” April said quickly--probably too quickly. “I just...have concerns is all.”

“Oh. My. God,” whispered a Lamb girl named Libby, who had made herself something of the queen bee in Lamb Cabin. “You have a crush!”

April's blood ran cold the moment those words had left Libby’s mouth. “What? No, I don’t!” April hurried to refute the other girl’s words.

“You do! You have a crush on Jason!” Libby crowed, loudly enough that a few heads at the next table turned their way.

“I do not!” April said hotly, feeling a flush rise in her cheeks. But not for the reason the other girls seemed to think.

“Look, she’s blushing!” Tiffany chimed in and it felt like an avalanche. Soon all of the other girls were teasing her too. Even going so far as to sing the ‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ song.

Finally, it was too much. April rose to her feet and slammed her tray onto the table. “SHUT UP!” It took a moment for her to realize that every set of eyes in the cafeteria were turned her way. 

Worst of all, Jamie was looking at her. This wasn’t the way April had wanted to get Jamie’s attention.

Jamie turned to Isabelle and whispered something in her ear before getting up from the table, leaving her own tray behind as she made a beeline for April. “Let’s go outside,” she said, leading April out of the mess hall and giving her a mini heart attack by placing her hand on the small of April’s back to do so.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” April said quietly once they were outside, but Jamie kept walking.

“I know,” Jamie replied, nodding, “But that’s still no way to react to girls like that. Don’t you realize they _want_ to get a rise out of you? It’s like a game to them.”

This took April off-guard, as she was sure she was going to be reprimanded, but that was obviously not the case. She and Jamie stopped in front of one of the buildings marked Staff Only. “Why are we here?”

“I’m going to show you my trick for not letting little bitches like that get to me,” Jamie said, shrugging as she pulled out a set of keys and walked up to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside, but April hesitated, not wanting to get in trouble for being someplace she wasn’t supposed to. Jamie sighed and rolled her eyes. “Come on. If you’re with me, you can be in here,” she said assuringly, motioning for April to come in.

Still not sure, but trusting Jamie, April nodded and walked into the building, surprised to find that it was a fitness room. Nothing too state-of-the-art, but enough to provide some variety. “Is this where you lift? April asked, remembering Jamie’s earlier comment.

She nodded. “Yep. I find that sometimes you just have to walk away from the situation and then let your aggression out where nobody can take any satisfaction from it.” Jamie led April over to a weight bench and started to take some large ones off of the bar. “If you feel like you can do more than this, I can add some back on, but you gotta work up to it,” she said, her explanation surprising April, who didn’t expect them to actually be in here to work out--she was expecting some sort of Mr. Miyagi talk about wax on, wax off or something. “Well, what are you waiting for?” Jamie said, patting the bench.

Still unsure about this, April sighed and got down on the bench, having gone 13 years without doing this before. “How is this supposed to help, exactly?” she asked, knowing that the only reason she’s managed to calm down after Libby’s teasing is Jamie’s presence alone being quite distracting.

“I’m getting there,” Jamie assured her. “Now, put your hands on the bar and make sure they’re the same distance from the weights,” she said, adjusting the placement of April’s hands slightly. “I’m gonna spot you, and on the count of three, I want you to lift the bar off the holder and bring it close to you, okay?” 

“Okay,” April said, nervous, but trusting that there must be a point to all of this. Gripping the bar extra tight, she took a deep breath in and lifted the bar off its holder when Jamie said one, surprised to find how heavy it still was even with how much weight she’d seen Jamie take off as she slowly and carefully brought it down close to her chest, 

“All that weight you’re feeling right now is everyone who’s ever given you a hard time--all the pressure they put on you. On the count of three, I want you to visualize all of that, then exhale hard and lift the bar. You can be bigger than them and push it all away,” Jamie explained, the concept far simpler than April had thought it would be, and she didn’t argue when Jamie counted down from three again.

April thought about all the things weighing down on her--of her father expecting perfection, of the Wesley twins getting everything she’s ever wanted with none of the effort. She thought of Libby and her stupid smug face thinking she knew exactly what to say to annoy April, and of skanky Isabelle getting to have Jamie look at her like she’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And finally, she thought about constantly having to feel like she should hate herself for being the person April knows for certain she’s always been and always will be. And with that thought, along with a forceful exhale of air that sounded to her an awful lot like a scream, she lifted the bar off of herself and shoved it up onto its holder, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

As April lay there on the bench, breathing hard, but proud of herself for actually being able to do it, Jamie motioned toward the door. “Okay, you did amazing and I hope you’re gonna remember that in the future, but we need to go now before someone finds us and we both get in trouble.”

April frowned. “I thought you said this was okay?”

Jamie made a sort of sheepish look, shrugging. “Okay, so I lied. We need to go now,” she said, pointing at the door again.

Not needing to be told again, April practically leapt up from the bench, bolting out of the room and actually finding herself giggling once she was outside and Jamie came to join her, locking the door behind her. “That was awesome!” she said finally. “Is this why you lift?”

Jamie nodded. “Believe it or not, I was once a _lot_ like you. Except I never had anyone show me how to work through this stuff, so I just want you to know you can talk to me, okay?” She patted April on the shoulder. “Chin up, Kid. And don’t let the Libbys of the world get you down, okay?”

April felt herself go a little weak at the knees at the dreamy, encouraging look Jamie was giving her. “Okay.”

* * *

April didn’t exactly have a solid plan when she dragged a canoe from the beach into the water. Maybe she just wanted time to herself out on the water, maybe she had heard someone mention seeing Isabelle heading toward the west bank of the lake—an area inaccessible to campers. At least by land.

Sure, there may have also been a rule about always having at least two people in a canoe at once, but April had spent enough time sailing with her dad off the coast to trust her ability to row a little boat by herself.

“Hey, Libby!” she called out as she passed close by the end of the dock where Libby and a few of her cronies were sitting fully dressed, dipping their feet in the water. Without having to give it a second thought, April slapped the water with her oar closest to the dock, splashing all of them, but especially Libby who shrieked as she got to her feet on the dock. “Whoops, sorry about that!” April called over her shoulder, rowing just a bit faster away from them as she giggled to herself.

“Stevens, you’re such a freak! I had my phone in my pocket!” Libby screamed after her and whined, which only made April laugh harder as she continued on to the west bank.

Really, she didn’t exactly know what to expect. As far as everyone was concerned, Isabelle was as typical as any church camp counselor. It was only April (and Jamie) who apparently knew any different. So the likelihood of April witnessing anything out of the ordinary, beyond what she saw when she snuck out of her cabin, wasn’t very good. 

Still, she borrowed a pair of birdwatching binoculars to be sure—she knew she couldn’t get too close and risk being spotted. She also brought a pimento cheese sandwich because, well, who knew how long it would take for something interesting to happen? And she hadn’t exactly gotten a chance to finish breakfast.

Settling down her oars inside the canoe once the west bank was visible but not so close that the wind could carry her into it, April unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite with one hand while holding up the binoculars with the other.

“Where are you?” she murmured to herself, looking for any sign of Isabelle.

She knew how objectively creepy this whole thing was. She wasn’t so stupid or crazy to think it was anything else. But April was quickly coming to realize that she just couldn’t help herself when it came to Jamie. Maybe it was her confidence or the fact that she really seemed to _see_ April. Or maybe it was just her Ruby Rose-level good looks. Either way, there was nobody else April would have gone full Harriet the Spy for.

Well, except maybe Adele Meisner.

April slowly scanned the shoreline once, then twice. She was getting discouraged when she spotted Isabelle emerge from the treeline to the beach carrying a bag, with a towel slung over her shoulder, and wearing a bikini that broke at least five camp dress code rules. No wonder she had to sneak off to do...whatever it was she was doing.

Isabelle laid out her towel on the beach and sat down, getting a bottle of what April could only assume was tanning lotion as she began to lather it onto herself.

April thought of something snarky involving how predictable it would be that Isabelle would one day be a middle-aged woman with skin like leather, but it quickly fizzled out as she really watched what was going on.

Ever since she knew her feelings for girls, April had always been careful to not cross any lines by giving herself a special set of rules. She never allowed herself to admire girls physically in any context, she always had to change for gym class while facing the locker room wall—hell, she never even let herself go into Victoria’s Secret at the mall. 

Therefore, it was only natural for April to be taken off-guard by the visceral reaction she felt in the pit of her stomach as she watched Isabelle rub the lotion onto herself. And why she just couldn’t bring herself to look away when Isabelle reached behind herself to untie her bikini top and let it fall onto the beach. Though perhaps April should have put her sandwich down because she felt her hand clench together and smush pimento cheese out the sides of the bread.

“Aw man,” she muttered to herself, dipping her hand into the water and swirling it around to get it as clean as possible, but she couldn’t bring herself to care all that much because there, through her binoculars, were breasts. The first pair she’d ever seen in real life, and thus... absolutely perfect. “Wow,” she heard herself exhale.

She knew how wrong this was. She was no better than a Peeping Tom...she _was_ a Peeping Tom. But in that moment, allowing herself to feel pure, unadulterated desire felt _good._ It felt good to allow herself to want something, to embrace her desires like she never had before. Though she had to admit that Isabelle’s body was either a gift from God or a temptation from Satan himself--and nothing in-between--she didn’t care.

Isabelle took a seat on her towel, leaning back and basking in the sun before allowing herself to fully sink down to lie on her back.

April let out a small sound of frustration, as the new angle obstructed her view. Despite knowing better, she stood in the canoe.

On a lake with no powerboats and without much wind, the water had been relatively calm. So it must have truly been a case of divine intervention when a singular strong gust formed a wave big enough to rock the canoe just enough to send April tumbling into the lake. 

The cool water was a shock to her system, a firm slap in the face from the Big Man Himself saying, ‘Stop being a creep!” just as April broke through the surface of the water, gasping for air and squinting through the beads of water stuck to the lenses of her glasses. She swam to the canoe, which had somehow managed to drift with the wind. Putting her hands up on the side, she tried to hoist herself back up into it, but the muscles in her arms--or lack thereof--had something to say about that, after already going far beyond their limit to bench press her gay fury away.

“Nope, nope, not gonna happen,” April grunted to herself as she sank back down into the water. She looked down, grateful to have put the binoculars’ safety strap around her neck, or they would have taken a dive to the bottom of the lake on top of her finding herself stranded. Without a life jacket, and without a canoe buddy. She sighed, realizing she really _was_ being punished as she grabbed the towing rope from the front of the canoe and began the exhausting task of swimming back to shore--and not even the closest shore to her! Almost drowning herself--literally--in her own desires twice in one week was a sign. It was a sign to go back to denying her feelings for Jamie, or Adele, or...any other girl. But the second that thought crossed her mind as she made it to shore, she lost all resolve as Jamie happened upon her from the trail circling the lake.

Jamie hooked her thumbs in her belt loops and looked April over with a wry smile. “Have a little bit of boat trouble?”

April’s arms felt like overcooked spaghetti and she didn’t complain when Jamie hauled the canoe out of the water. While Jamie deftly handled the canoe, April slogged out of the lake, her shoes squelching as she walked.

“Now, I know we broke a few rules going into the counselor’s break room, but some of them are for good reason. Like wearing life jackets and not going canoeing alone,” Jamie said, turning to look at April and her face grew stony. “What’s with the binoculars?” she asked.

“Oh, I was, uh...birdwatching,” April lied, very unconvincingly, shifting from foot to foot in her wet tennis shoes.

“Birdwatching, huh?” Jamie asked skeptically, putting down the canoe, her gaze pinning April to the spot. Logically, April knew that Jamie had no way of knowing exactly what she’d been doing out on the lake with binoculars, but she still seemed to have an inkling as she crossed her arms and continued to stare April down.

Feeling herself cracking, April decided to let just a little bit of truth slip out. “Okay, so I heard that counselor Isabelle was going over to the west bank and I thought there might have been some kind of activity, so I-”

“-You spied on her?” Jamie interrupted, raising an eyebrow. “And what, pray tell, did you expect to see her doing?”

April shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t know, I was just...curious.”

“Curious enough to spy on a girl while she’s naked, I guess,” Jamie said accusingly, and April felt her blood run cold. “So do you wanna talk to me about it, or should I let the higher-ups know about your flagrant disregard for boat rules?”

“Jamie, I--I swear I didn’t go out there to spy on her like that,” April started, struggling to form the words with how much her voice and body were shaking, and not from the cold water. “I just...I know you and her have been sneaking out at night, and I wondered if you would be with her when I heard where she was going.”

Jamie’s eyes went wide at the confession, knowing she herself was caught. “Why would I have-” she began to deny it, but April wasn’t having it, feeling pure adrenaline coursing through her now.

“I _saw_ you two kissing the other night!” April said, a bit too loud as Jamie stood there petrified. She lowered her voice for the rest. “I know you two are together, and I just...I wanted-” she cut herself off, stepping forward to put her hands on Jamie’s biceps and get on her tippy toes to kiss her. Or at least, she tried to, but Jamie leaned back to avoid April’s lips.

“Whoa!” Jamie said firmly, the shock wearing off as she gently pushed April away from her.

April felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Sadness and rejection, yes, but also a feeling of disgust with herself. How could she have been so stupid? “I didn’t mean that. I didn’t-” she tried to say, but Jamie shook her head.

“April, I’m...I’m flattered, but there are about five reasons why that was super inappropriate,” Jamie said, clearly still trying to wrap her head around what just happened.

“I know. That was so stupid,” April admitted, hating her stupid heart for putting her in this position. “And I mean, I’m not, like, gay or anything,” she added defensively.

Jamie’s expression surprisingly softened as she cocked her head to the side. “You sure about that?”

No. “Yeah, I mean, I like boys. They’re...aesthetically pleasing to me,” April tried to lie, but there was no use. “Okay fine, I’ve kind of never liked a boy…”

“But you liked me?” Jamie asked quietly, in the same nurturing tone April’s mother would use to comfort her after one of her dad’s blowups. “April, it’s okay if you like girls. I do, and I’m not ashamed of it.”

“But the Bible says-” April started to say but Jamie quickly interrupted.

“The Bible says God loves everyone and that He made you perfect, just as you are,” Jamie said firmly, tone leaving no room for argument.

“How long have you known?” April asked the top of her shoes, unwilling and unable to look Jamie in the eye. It felt good to talk about this; something that she had kept so close to her chest that it almost felt like it would strangle her.

“I don’t remember a time that I _didn’t_ like girls,” Jamie said with a small smile as April finally looked up. “What about you?”

April hesitated, but what harm was there in confirming something Jamie already knew? “I was kind of...obsessed with a girl when I was in second grade. But it wasn’t until later that I realized I _like_ liked her.”

“Just the one girl?” Jamie prompted gently.

“Well...no. There was another girl, later. I guess I always knew that I liked her. But we don’t exactly talk anymore,” April admitted slowly, each word almost pried out of her mouth.

The corner of Jamie’s lip curled into a small smile. “There, you said it out loud and God didn’t smite you. Feel better?”

“Yeah.” April’s voice sounded teary in her own ears. 

And apparently to Jamie as well. “Hey now, don’t cry, we still have to talk about why this is beyond inappropriate,” Jamie said, steering April over to sit on a log. “Okay, so I know you’re at a transitional time in your life, and it’s great that you’re discovering yourself, but you’re still just a kid. And I mean, I know I don’t feel like I’m an adult most of the time, but I am one and I’m also your counselor, so this,” Jamie gestured between the two of them, “Can never happen.”

“Never is a _really_ long time…” April said, allowing herself to smile for the first time in this entire interaction, and Jamie rolled her eyes.

“Smooth. You’re gonna be a real heartbreaker one day,” she said, gently bumping her shoulder into April’s as she scoffed.

“Doubtful. Even assuming I have the glow-up of the century, there are like no other gay kids at my school...except maybe my friend Ezekiel, but I can’t know for sure about him,” April said dismissively, tapping her shoes together.

“You’d be surprised. I mean, would you have guessed about Isabelle?” Jamie asked, then sighed. “Though she might not be the best example.”

“Why not?” April asked. Isabelle _certainly_ seemed into Jamie out by the lake.

“Because she’s one of those girls who think they can do stuff with girls and still call themselves straight so long as they go back to their boyfriends,” Jamie said bluntly. “I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff.”

“No! I haven’t ever been able to talk to a real lesbian before and this is useful information!” April insisted. “What other kinds of girls should I look out for?”

Jamie looked up, exasperated as if she knew she was about to say a lot of stuff she never anticipated having to tell a 13-year-old about. “Well, if I were you, I’d avoid adult women from now on. Best case scenario, they’ll reject you for being too young and you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Worst case scenario, they’re a creep who knows how hard it is for young gays to discover themselves and they’ll take advantage of you. Either way, don’t do it.”

“Noted,” April said, nodding once. 

“But uh, if you come from a family like mine, I’d try to keep everything on the down-low until you’re out of the house. God maybe made us perfect, but the world has made people raging assholes with regard to people like us. Being yourself is important, but staying safe is paramount,” Jamie seemed far more somber, talking about this.

“How do you know? That God makes no mistakes, I mean? I’ve gone my whole life being told otherwise by everyone except Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber,” April asked, doubt creeping in once she was reminded of the fact that her mom and dad would probably cease to love her if they ever found out.

“Hey, Veggietales is an informative piece of media. And just because they’re CGI doesn’t mean they don’t have a point. I mean, there are a lot of creatures on this Earth that make no sense at all. Look at the platypus, or...or blue poisonous frogs, or-”

“Or narwhals!” April interjected, adding, “They’re the unicorns of the sea.”

Jamie chuckled. “Yes, exactly. None of those things have any good reason to exist, but they do. Now you...you exist on this Earth for a lot of good reasons, April Stevens. You’re gonna do so much and make your mark in a positive way. I can just tell. And all the while, God made you gay, and no matter what, He’ll always love you just as you are.”

There was no way April wouldn’t cry at that. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Jamie said assuringly and wrapped an arm around April’s shoulders, not seeming to mind getting her clothes wet as she pulled April in for a side hug. “Now, we’ve got a few more weeks of camp left. How about you stick with me on free days and avoid creeping on unsuspecting women? I can answer any questions you have and we can sneak into the weight room again.”

April wiped at her eyes as she nodded. “Okay,” she sniffled, “Why are you doing this for me?”

Jamie thought about it for a moment. “Because I know that when I was your age, more than anything, I needed someone in my corner who understood. I never got that, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t,” she shrugged as if it was no big deal, but April couldn’t think of a greater act of kindness from someone she barely knew.

* * *

The rest of camp seemed to go by too fast. April began to resent all the group activities because her time alone with Jamie was so fun. A few times, Isabelle joined them, but she seemed more confused and annoyed by April’s presence than anything while Jamie paid her no mind. So it wasn’t much of a shock to April when Jamie stopped referencing her in conversation and Isabelle started spending a lot more time with Jason.

“Like I said, Kid. Stay away from girls with boyfriends,” Jamie had said while she bench pressed her feelings away.

April had promised she’d certainly try.

The rest of the time, they mostly just hung out. Talking about girls, and their respective churches, and the Falcons somehow managing to blow a 28-3 lead in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, among other things. Including the reason why the west bank was forbidden to the campers (it was the only place on the lake with cell service). April felt so mature to be friends with a college student and was just a little arrogant over the fact that she was clearly favored by Jamie over her bunkmates.

But all good things must come to an end, and church camp was no exception. While April waited near the drop-off and pick-up zone with her bags resting on the ground beside her, she fought back tears at the idea that she was about to go back to feeling so excruciatingly alone. 

One thing she could say about all her years of living in denial was she didn’t know how good it felt to simply be herself, if only around one person. But going back to a house where her father frequently spouted slurs regarding people like Jamie and herself after finally coming to embrace it was going to be...difficult, to say the least.

When she was first dropped off, April hadn’t expected that it would be a feeling of dread that she would experience when she saw her dad’s car approach in the pick-up line, but that’s exactly what was happening. Until she heard Jamie’s voice calling her name.

April turned around to see her friend sprinting towards her from the cabins and she wondered if she had forgotten to pack something, but that didn’t seem to be the case as Jamie stopped in front of her, slightly out of breath, holding a slip of paper torn from a spiral notebook and folded neatly.

“I’m glad I caught you before you left,” she said and handed the paper to April. “That’s my number. I want you to text me if you ever are going through it, or just want to talk.”

April smiled and had to try her hardest to remind herself that she wasn’t supposed to be crushing on adult women anymore. “Thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that,” she said and put the paper into her shorts pocket. She’d be sure to input it into her phone the second she got home.

“So, you know, when you find the right girl, I can let you in on my favorite tricks,” Jamie said with a wink as April rolled her eyes.

“As I said, I highly doubt I’ll be able to find someone before I leave for college, but I’ll keep you posted,” April said with just a twinge of melancholy in her voice. Jamie gave her hope for the future, but the future seemed so far away.

Jamie sighed, looking up as if contemplating going through with a bad idea before looking back at April and putting a hand on her shoulder, leaning in slightly to lower her voice. “I’ll make you a deal, okay?” she asked, and April happily nodded. “If you haven’t had your first kiss by the time you’re 18, I guess I can take the burden off your shoulders.”

April grinned. “Really?” she asked excitedly. She could hardly believe that Jamie really just offered to be her first kiss. Out of pity, sure, but a kiss is a kiss.

Jamie rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m only offering because I know you’re gonna find someone. It’s just nice to have some of the pressure taken off.”

April nodded in agreement, though something told her Jamie had better be ready to pucker up in five years...unless Adele Meisner happened to return from Arizona. There was a sound of a car tapping its horn and April turned to see her dad waiting impatiently at the front of the line now. “Well, I guess I better go,” April said, picking up her duffle bag and putting the strap around her suitcase’s top handle and Jamie proceeded to help her roll it over to the car.

Without a second thought, April pulled Jamie into a tight hug, which she was happy to feel reciprocated.

“You stay in touch, okay?” Jamie said, patting her back as April felt the tears start to well up in her eyes.

She finally, _finally_ had a friend who understood and accepted her for exactly who she was, and now she had to leave.

The trunk of her dad’s car popped open and he got out of his side to walk around and pull April in for a hug just as Jamie let her go. “I missed you, Padawan,” he said and kissed her forehead. “You have fun?” April nodded and forced a smile before her dad turned to Jamie. “Hey, thanks for lookin' out for my little girl,” he said as he not so subtly slipped Jamie a hundred dollar bill.

“Oh, that’s really not necessary, Mr. Stevens,” Jamie said awkwardly and tried to hand it back, but there was no way John would let her, so she begrudgingly shoved it into her shorts pocket. “I’ll see you next year, April?” she asked before April could get into the back of the car.

She nodded and smiled. “I wouldn’t miss it,” she said and offered Jamie a small wave. “Bye for now.”

“Bye,” Jamie replied, then smiled slyly and added, “Try to avoid any major bodies of water, okay?”

April stuck her tongue out at her as she got into the car and watched Jamie laugh even when she couldn’t hear her over the sound of Dad Rock on the radio.

Her dad finished loading her stuff into the trunk and slammed it shut, coming around to get back into the driver’s seat. “So it wasn’t so bad, huh?”

April shook her head as he put the car into drive. “No, it was fun.”

“That’s real good,” her dad said, pulling the car out onto the road. “You hungry? I can stop for nuggets on the way home,” he offered, clearly picking up on the way April was being a lot quieter than normal.

“Sure,” she agreed, but her mind was preoccupied with a lot more than what dipping sauce she was going to get. She’d gone to camp an awkward girl, too afraid to confront who she really was, and now she was--well, not exactly a woman--a more mature girl who knew who she was. And sure, it was downright frightening to consider all the ways it could all blow up in her face, but April knew she could hold everything together long enough to go out and conquer the world on her own as a strong, _lesbian_ woman.

“Oh hey, here’s your phone back,” John said, opening the glove compartment and passing back April’s rose gold iPhone. “I think one of the Wesley girls might’ve texted you about something or other.”

April scoffed. “Oh, goodie,” she said sarcastically, unlocking it and seeing three texts from Sterling among about fifty from Ezekiel and Hannah B. asking if she was dead. She doubted they could be anything important, so she elected to ignore them for now, instead creating a contact for Jamie and quickly shooting off a text.

**April: Missing you already, JStar.**

After a few minutes, April was surprised to get a reply.

**Jamie: Here’s hoping you give your future girlfriends nicknames not derived from research archives.**

**Jamie: Miss you too, Kid.**

April smiled and bit her lip. Sure, the idea that she would one day even _find_ a girlfriend at all, let alone multiple of them, seemed farfetched to her, but at least her backup plan had certain...benefits.

**Author's Note:**

> Now, with that not-so-little interlude out of the way, we should be coming at you guys with the next chapter of the wedding shenanigans shortly. Stay tuned.


End file.
